Is this anxiety or a recurrence? Learning to live with this question - By Mariana Arnaut

Fear of recurrence is a new type of anxiety we didn't ask for.

It usually starts with something small. A weird ache. A routine scan. A random headache that lingers a little longer than you'd like.

And just like that, you’re back there again—heart pounding, thoughts racing, googling symptoms you already know too much about.

“What if the cancer is back?”

If you’ve ever caught yourself spiraling with that question, I want you to know this: You’re not broken. You’re not overreacting. You’re not alone.

What you’re experiencing has a name. It’s called Fear of Recurrence, and it’s one of the most common emotional struggles that shows up in life after cancer.

It doesn’t care how long it’s been since your last treatment or how “healthy” you look and feel now. It doesn’t check your calendar or wait for a convenient time. It just shows up and it’s exhausting.

So how do we live with fear of recurrence?

Let’s start here: you’re allowed to be scared. Fear is your brain doing its job after a major trauma. You’ve been through something life-altering, and your body remembers. So when something feels off, even slightly, the alarms go off because your body wants to protect you.

But you can learn to pause and check in before the spiral takes over. Here are a few gentle questions to ask yourself:

• Has this symptom lasted more than 2 weeks?

• Is it getting worse over time?

• Am I feeling overwhelmed or panicked?

If the answer is yes, it’s time to reach out to your care team. You deserve peace of mind, and your providers are there to help.

If the answer is no, it’s okay to pause. Breathe. Go outside. Text someone who gets it. You’re allowed to feel fear. Name it out loud: “This is fear.”

Fear of recurrence doesn’t go away overnight.

It fades in and out. Some days are loud, others are mercifully quiet. But over time, with the right tools and support, it gets easier to carry.

You don’t have to do it alone. Join a support group. Talk with other survivors. Learn tools to manage anxiety. Let yourself be held—by community, by care, by kindness.

Healing after cancer isn’t linear and neither is peace of mind. But it’s possible. And you’re already on your way!