My name is JJ Singleton I'm a colorectal cancer patient from Canton North Carolina. I was diagnosed in 2015 at the age of 27, been on chemo for life since 2016. I'm an advocate for colorectal cancer and breaking down stigmas and hurdles around screening and talking about colorectal cancer as well as mental health and the hurdles of living with cancer.
Feeling I'm not alone is important, but not enough
Positivity, encouragement, motivational quotes prayers, good thoughts and so on are all good things that most of the time I love seeing receiving and feeling as I go through this life with cancer and everything that comes with it.
There is a huge and important need for that and to make sure individuals hear that feel it and know they’re not alone. But sometimes I don’t want to see or read or even feel those things and why I feel this way I think is important and not talked about much especially if others feel this as well.
Sometimes I feel the world and society and expectations of us is to always look on the bright side, no matter what your dealing with or going through the expectation is positivity and hopefulness or to still be an inspiration or motivational tool and that’s all well and good when you feel like it and when you want to be in those things to yourself or to anyone in the world.
I need to lean into my negative emotions
There are times I need to stay in that feeling of sadness or anger or disappointment, depression, frustration, tiredness and any other feeling emotion or mood that comes along. I need to lean into these times to begin to process and understand what they mean to me and my mental health. Most importantly for myself is if I don’t accept and feel these and I end up pushing it all away and numbing myself to all the preconceived bad thoughts emotions and feelings, which in turn build up and will eventually blow up and land me in a dark place and spiral that scares me.
We don't have to be a positive inspiration every day
This isn’t meant to say don’t send positive and loving messages or gestures don’t quit putting motivation and love in the world and especially to people dealing with so much. It’s that those feelings emotions and thoughts that the world doesn’t like to hear, they can and do serve a purpose and it’s okay to lean into and feel them and experience them and to not want to be positive and outgoing and to not on the brightside everyday or be anyone’s inspiration.
Note: JJ gave us permission to repost this article from his blog.
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