“I Feel Disconnected From My Body” — by Mariana Arnaut

When I first heard a survivor say, “I feel like my body and I are strangers,” it stayed with me. Those words hold so much quiet truth, the kind that only someone who’s been through cancer can fully understand.

Because cancer doesn’t just change your health. It changes your relationship with your body. The body that once protected you is suddenly the same one that you feel like betrayed you. It got sick. It endured needles, surgeries, and pain you never asked for. And while the treatments may end, the feeling of disconnection often lingers long after.

This feeling is not uncommon and it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a human response to something deeply traumatic. But learning to trust your body again is possible.

Acknowledge the Feeling

It’s okay to admit that you feel disconnected — to say out loud, “I don’t feel like myself anymore.” Many survivors share that after treatment, their bodies feel foreign. The shape has changed, the energy has shifted, and the sense of control they once had is gone.

You’ve been through so much. Fear, pain, and loss of control can make it hard to feel at home in your own skin. For months, perhaps years, your body was managed, examined, and treated by others. It’s no wonder that it can feel unfamiliar or even unsafe now.

Acknowledging what you feel, without minimizing it or rushing to “get over it”, is the first act of healing. You can’t rebuild trust without first admitting that it was lost.

Understand Why It Happens

Feeling disconnected from your body after cancer is a natural response to trauma. Medical procedures can make you feel like your body isn’t really yours anymore. Side effects from treatment can change how you look, how you move, and how you feel in ways that are hard to accept.

And emotionally, it’s understandable to create distance. When your body has been through pain, sometimes detaching from it is the only way to cope. It’s a kind of self-protection — a way to feel safe while you heal.

Understanding why this happens helps shift the focus from blame to compassion. You begin to see that your disconnection isn’t a failure. It’s evidence of survival.

Start Rebuilding Trust

Reconnecting with your body doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a relationship, and like any relationship that’s been hurt, it takes time to rebuild trust.

Start small. Begin by listening to your body without judgment. Notice how it feels — where there’s tension, where there’s comfort, where there’s fatigue. Allow yourself to move gently: stretch, walk, breathe deeply. These are quiet acts of kindness that tell your body, “I’m here with you.”

Your body is not your enemy. It’s the vessel that carried you through treatment, that held on through the exhaustion, the uncertainty, and the fear. It deserves gentleness now.

Reconnect Through Compassion

One survivor once shared with me that she wrote a letter after finishing chemo. At first, the letter was filled with anger — anger for the pain, for the scars, for the betrayal she felt. But as she kept writing, her tone began to change. She started to thank her body for surviving. For holding on when she didn’t think she could.

That’s what compassion looks like. It’s not pretending everything is okay. It’s choosing to meet yourself where you are, with kindness.

Try taking a few minutes each day to connect intentionally with your body. You can do this through mindfulness, gentle stretching, or simply taking a deep breath and noticing what it feels like to be in your skin again. Healing happens not through force, but through presence.

You’re Not Alone

If you’ve felt disconnected from your body after cancer, you’re far from alone. Many survivors feel exactly the same way. Healing takes time, and it’s okay if you’re not there yet.

At The After Cancer, we created our Mind-Body sessions to help survivors learn gentle tools for reconnection — practices that rebuild trust through awareness, movement, and self-compassion.

You don’t have to do this alone. Healing isn’t about fighting your body — it’s about coming home to it.